RUN#427
HARES: Battleaxe and Hairy Chopper
GRAND MASTER: Bangseat
EXECUTIONER: Semi-Detached
The new "winter" meeting time of 1700 seems to have caught on, with 27
Hashers chomping at the bit at the very picturesque newly re-landscaped
picnic ground and reservoir. Plenty of parking, and a nice little area out
of the public gaze for the circle shenanigans.
No new shoes, although if Maid in China shows up with a blue poly bag on
his right foot again he will incur an execution for new-shoe-avoidance.
The usual lying drivel about a dead easy run with ONE SMALL HILL and ONE
LITTLE CREEK was announced by Hairy Chopper, oh yes and "about" five false
trails.
I would have to say this was a very pretty run, lots of gently undulating
hillocks and woodland groves, and dear old Tartan Tart once again ran twice
as far as anyone else by recce-ing all the false trails. Personally I felt
the hares were a mite too frugal with the flour, especially in the jungly
bits, but no-one got lost.
Lyn-bin-Rogered and myself witnessed one of the most blatant acts of
short-cutting by two Hashers who shall remain nameless for the next five
minutes. These miscreants led a whole pack (flock?) of sheep-like runners
down a bushy slope, thereby cutting out a good ten minutes of uphill slog.
Our returning tracker dog, Tuppy, enthusiastically pelted along and
almost tripped moi up several times in his haste to get back to the circle
and his water bowl.
Back at the circle a convivial half-hour was spent, bragging, lying,
trading insults and catching up with old friends, before a very stern GM
called us to order. After reminding us that he was God for the evening and
always right, yeah yeah yeah or should that be yis yis yis, we got down to
business.
VISITORS: Several, with foony accents, duly dealt with, nothing personal
guys, do come again.
VIRGINS: A couple, although the partner of one of them, Jenny from China,
took great delight in informing us all that she actually wasn't (a virgin).
Quite unchivalrous I thought, doesn't he understand that girls can be
anything they want to be today, including a virgin?
RETURNERS: 6 or 7, including Tuppy Love, Tent Packer, Floppy Rod and Old
Bailey. What is it about being a returner that some folk don't get? Lookee
here, if you bog off for six months then come back to Hash, that makes you A
RETURNER, so let's have no more whingeing, just get in the circle and accept
your fate.
Now then, SHORT-CUTTING BASTARDS: One of the primary larrikins was Floppy
Rod; he mysteriously disappeared off home for the entire circle, only to
re-appear at the restaurant, thereby escaping his well-deserved punishment.
He owes his fellow miscreant (and wife) Old Bailey big time, as she
courageously accepted both lots of punishment---and both lots of beer it
must be noted.
We had two naming ceremonies, Val with the foony accent from oop north is
now to be known as Bladen Runner, and the unchivalrous Mark is now Maid in
China.
A couple of matters came up for discussion. Firstly it was agreed that all
horrors i.e kids under 14 will in future pay only RM15. This excludes any
old opportunistic farts with beards, ok? Secondly, the on-going problem of
storage of LBH3 property. When the rental on Crimson Crotch and Lazy
Kwutches storage unit expires on Dec 18th, Inspector Fuzz and
Lyn-bin-Rogered graciously agreed to store it at their place until 2nd-time
Hashers Kate and Naoki return from Japan, when they will store it in their
spare bedroom at Chogm Villa. A big THANKYOU guys!!
It was decided that enough people were interested to make the next run on
Dec 18th viable. Lyn-bin-Rogered suggested each Hasher bring a small wrapped
gift of under RM10 value to go in the lucky dip, and Cockpit suggested we
all run in Santa hats or reindeer antlers. Both ideas vociferously approved.
Once again, another splendid meal at the Lobster Village, buckets of very
tasty food. Hares, you did a great job there!
I will end this report with some interesting statistics. In the four hours
that the Hash bar was open, 27 people managed to get through 6L white wine,
5L red wine 22 bottles water, 18 cans 100plus, 61 Tigers, 33 Skols and 14
Carlsbergs----and Upper and Downer weren't even there!
So, another great night, with excellent input from Hares, GM and
Executioner.
Next run is on Friday Dec 18th, Hares are Cockpit and Bangseat. On On Ya
Bastards.
Cockpit xxxx
Run No428
Hares: Cockpit and Bangseat
In the past I have suggested we hire out Small Ballcock and Cunning Stunt to any desert areas or drought affected countries, and I feel we could add the above Hares to that select group - could be a real money spinner, tax free etc. What am I babbling about - after no rain for weeks what happened on Friday at 2pm - the heavens opened, panic ensued but my plants were thrilled.
After doing the run, 3 or was it 4 times (the number seemed to get longer as the night progressed)the weather finally smiled into an odd drizzle for the brave 14 or so who turned out. We were all decked out in Christmas hats, much to the amusement of the locals. I thought we looked grand indeed. Small Ballcock offered to do something at last and was GM. Despite his best bleatings the circle was really a square cubed, but you get the idea. After welcoming visitors we all set off on an easy run despite a few side turns when we lost the flour (surely because of the weather and NOT because of poor marking) and it was wise of the Hares to make it a 'runners' course. Lots of comments by visitors of how scenic and charming it was. Personally my only complaint was the lack of rubbish and crap that is usually our fare - but evidently I was in the minority as everyone had kind words.
Well done Hares.
We were much impressed with the GM when he produced a 2 page documentary of misdemeanors, all the more so with only 14 of us. Lyn bin rogered offered to be the executioneer but somehow wasn't and Hairy Chopper was lustily filling up lots of water jugs. He then disgraced the office on his first execution by flinging water, missing the victim and there was the GM standing with a soggy two pages of running words. He probably should have used a biro instead of a texta. Still from my point of view it was a disaster as I had been 'nominated" (see pushed, glared at, etc) as your scribe for the run, and usually rely on the scribblings to remind me what happened.
We had four visitors all from UK - god is there anyone left to turn off the lights - 3 of whom were rellies to Cunning Stunt, her brother and family, in fact. That there is love in the home was brought to bear on Brother being brought into the circle at least 6 times for punishment. The volumn of opinion on this excess was a) GM was getting even with him for some unmentionable crimes committed back when the lash and transportation were in vogue or b) by plying him with copious drops of amber fluid said Brother would not drink so much of GM's home brew. The latter won by a short head.
The Brother's kid was really a young man, but was lumbered with the name of Small Bob (come on you get it, nephew of Big Bob who is Small Ball.........etc) and he had the gall to run past Uncle taunting him with 'come on old man' as he scooted past to the finish line. Well, great indignation from everyone over the age of 50 (almost all of us) and that BOY was duly despatched.
Mrs. Rolling Home, another visitor, now known as "I cannot remember my Hash name Rolling Home" was seen strolling, not running, trotting or fast walking the course, with Crimson Crutch - so busy gossiping they lost the course momentarily, but it was enough to have them in the centre too. After water boarding Dobbers, anyone wearing glasses, short cutters and the usual suspects and a couple of others I now cannot remember because the pages fell apart, we prepared to move to the restaurant.
It was at the old/new favourite Lobster Village and Big Cock the proprietor was there to greet us, or was that to make sure we behaved ourselves???? Excellent food as usual. I feel I deserve a special mention here as I NEVER take my camera to hash but did this time, and good job too, it was the only one there. However I have to 'fess up that I 'lost' my camera and was about to go into a decline when Hairy Chopper walked in with that smug look one has come to love, declaring it was 'lost' in the car. Relief all round as group had visions of no photos of their sartorial elegence. All that remains now is to see if I can send them by email.
We had all brought presents - a challenging task to buy something for R10, but we were all quite pleased with our early gifts. Good evening replete with too much noise, wine, food. Isn't it funny how we can clear out the restaurant of other diners in under an hour.
NOTE: We had a small discussion in the circle regarding the next run. With Christmas and New Year festivities looming and the Langkawi Regatta, plus aways, visitors and so on the next run will be on 22nd January. Small Ballcock and Cunning Stunt are the hares so that should lead to a blazing row by them over the course and the amount of flour required. Go get 'im CS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL AND HERE'S TO A WONDERFUL 2010.
